How to facilitate an easy return to work for new parents

Becoming a parent does not make us “less good” at our jobs; on the contrary! It simply makes us more vulnerable from a professional standpoint while we find our new balance. The role of HR and the employer is vital in keeping employees motivated and engaged.

“Paying people to cuddle my son is hard.”

Ding dong, recess is over; it’s time to return to work after spending those precious few weeks with your newborn baby. Returning to work is a bit like going back to class: it feels good to find some calm, to stimulate oneself intellectually, and to reconnect with less childish discussions. In practice, there is a new daily routine to invent, and sometimes a thread of guilt about leaving our child at daycare or with a relative instead of spending time with them.

What to do when you are an employer?

First of all, understand and respect that the lives of new mothers or fathers in your team have changed. One of the keys to a successful and respectful return to work for all parties is flexibility. Arnaud, a manager in a medium-sized company, says: “The world has changed. The traditional family is becoming less common. There are single young parents. There are couples where both parents work. There isn’t always a grandparent to help. Sometimes, you can feel very alone in this new adventure. And I think it’s an opportunity for the employer to show that they are a team with us.”

On my side, I, Claudia, was very lucky in this regard, as Edenred has put everything in place for my return. My manager fully understands my situation as a young mother, and I feel supported. The implementation of breastfeeding breaks was done easily (and this time is respected as being off-limits), remote work was temporarily increased, my request for temporary part-time work due to parental leave was accepted, temporary support was hired, and I know that if I have an issue with illness, daycare, or anything else, I can take time off. This lifts a huge weight off my shoulders and puts me in the best mental conditions to return. I was not stressed by this transition, and it is clearly thanks to all these measures. Of course, some jobs or sectors do not allow for as many actions to be implemented, but adding a dose of flexibility is always possible in professional daily life.

Bénédicte (a pseudonym), a single mother of a little Olivia, 18 months old, did not have this luck: “I had a lot of apprehensions about returning to work. Having to leave the nest we built together for months. Fearing that the bond we formed, often in silence, chest to chest, would break. The closer the D-day got, the more nervous I became. In the end, there were good things and less good ones. My bond with Olivia is not weaker. We meet in the evening after daycare, and everything is fine, actually. However, I realized that my employer had absolutely no policy for working mothers. And even less so for those who, like me, are single. It was a real shock. Behind the nice speeches, there were no concrete actions.”

It is important for the company to understand that becoming a parent does not make us “less good” at our jobs. It simply makes us more vulnerable from a professional standpoint while we find our new balance. The role of HR and the employer is vital in keeping employees motivated and engaged.

A return that needs preparation

The best way to make this return as smooth as possible is to prepare for it. There are several ways to do this. What is legal, namely informing the employee of their potential rights, options, and benefits. And then, everything that is not mandatory but can be implemented by the company to make this return joyful and friendly: welcome gifts, return drinks, introducing the baby to the team, …

“The company completely overlooked me,” says Bénédicte (a pseudonym), an employee at a logistics company and a single mother of a little Olivia, 18 months old. “I received a text from my supervisor saying she was expecting me on the 1st of the month, three days later. She specified that she wanted me to be in good shape because there was work to do. I was really shocked. Not a kind word, no empathy, just the facts. I might be sensitive, but for 9 months your body changes; it is literally inhabited. We then have to regain physical, hormonal, and moral balance, plus manage logistics. And the only word from my company in 12 months was ‘there’s work to do.'”

If Bénédicte’s testimony is clearly an example to avoid, I am happy to share my own (Claudia), which was very positive! It turned out that my first day coincided with a team lunch and a review of the past year I was able to see everyone again and get a comprehensive view of what had happened and what was going to happen in the upcoming year. It was a real luxury.

I can only advise managers to plan a meeting titled “What you missed and what awaits us” upon the return of their employee.

Managing emotions 

What has been difficult for me is when I realized that I would be less available for my son. Realizing that I will have to manage him alongside daily tasks, emails, and logistics is the hardest part for me. Realizing that I will be paying people to cuddle him in my place is tough. For me, managing emotions is really difficult. There is the feeling of leaving my son, but at the same time, I am very happy to reconnect with my colleagues. There is a form of excitement in restarting something. I love my job, so it is quite motivating.

Becoming a mother does not make me a less good employee. On the contrary, motherhood has taught me to take a step back, set my boundaries, prioritize my tasks, let go, and, of course, become a pro at multitasking! As I write these lines, my baby is sleeping against me in a wrap…

Options for Balancing Parenthood and Work

Arnaud says: “I didn’t immediately realize that I was going to become a father and then that I had become one. I had an incredible feeling when my wife came home with our son. He was next to us in his maxi-cosi. I remember looking at him, taking my wife’s hand in mine, and saying to her: we are a family now. And a few days later, I decided to request parental leave,” Arnaud tells us over the phone.

Parental leave is one of the options available to extend maternity leave or to spend time with one’s children. It is also the choice I made. I requested two months of part-time parental leave to allow for a smooth transition. For those who have the opportunity to do so, I warmly recommend it. It allows for a gentle re-entry and a gradual adjustment.

I am even more motivated when I work; I give all my energy and fully dedicate myself to my job because I know I will also have time to fully dedicate myself to my baby later.

A decision not always well-received. “The company I work for clearly made it known that it was a problem for them. Not officially, of course; that would be illegal, but through little comments about my disengagement and the objectives to be met. It’s really sad, but it mainly reflects a mentality from another era.”

“In the Nordic countries, some female ministers or deputies come to the assembly with their children. Sometimes they even breastfeed there. I think it’s a wonderful message that is being shared. Yes, we have the right to a family life, and work is not everything,” concludes Bénédicte.

Respecting what we implement 

Sometimes, it is not the employer who is an obstacle to a smooth return. It may be the employee themselves who struggles to separate certain things. This is what Bénédicte explains: “I must admit that I have difficulty sticking to certain decisions. Technically, I had decided to take breastfeeding breaks. But I realized that these breaks were not really breaks because I continued to read my emails, answer phone calls, and even attend video conferences with my camera off. And in fact, what should have been a necessary moment of relaxation became a source of stress. But this is solely my fault. I did not respect my limits and set the framework. Now, it’s impossible to go back.”

Curation 1: And elsewhere in Europe?

Since August 2022, all European countries had to implement the European directive on work-life balance, which establishes a “common minimum” regarding parental leave. All European citizens now have the right to:

• A minimum paternity leave of 10 days.
• A minimum maternity leave of 14 weeks.
• A minimum parental leave of 4 months.
• A minimum of 5 days of caregiver leave per year.

However, there are still significant disparities from one country to another. For instance, in Bulgaria, maternity leave is 60 weeks (yes, really), paid at 90%, whereas in Estonia, it’s only 14 weeks. However, Estonia does offer 3 years of paid parental leave, compared to 4 months in Belgium. In Greece, parental leave is also 4 months but unpaid.

A notable advancement is seen in several European countries (Finland, Poland, Sweden, Austria, Hungary, etc.) where parental leave is transferable between parents.

Focus of the Month: Edenred Gift Vouchers as New Baby Gifts

Edenred Gift vouchers are a delightful present for new parents! Accepted at many retailers, these vouchers can be used to purchase essential items such as a stroller, clothing, bottle warmers, and a crib. As a company, you can offer any amount you wish, which will not be subject to tax.